An entirely fictional transcript of conversation happening in the Camp writers room during the story meeting for “Harvest Moon”:
Writer 1: So we’re doing a pregnancy scare storyline in this episode.
Writer 2: Right, but we definitely don’t want it to be one of those boring pregnancy scare storylines that simply use complicated interpersonal feelings as their backbone. We need to be original!
Writer 3: Yeah!
Writer 1: Okay, so what if we have Marina ask Kip* to drive her into the drug store to take the pregnancy test because they don’t sell them at the general store?
*Editor’s Note: For those unaware, Marina was previously dating—and slept with, hence the pregnancy scare—Greg but on the pretense of a song with lyrics that Greg had stolen from Kip, who she’s now kind of seeing in the way you see someone at summer camp. Okay, back to the transcript.
Writer 2: Sure, but what if they have to borrow Greg’s car, and what if Kip backs into a set of trashcans and breaks a tail light, and then what if they get pulled over, and then what if Kip only has a learner’s permit, and then what if the cop lets them go with a warning because he knows someone at Little Otter—
Writer 3: Robbie!
Writer 2: Yeah, the cop knows Robbie, so then he forces them to leave the car behind but agrees to drive them to the drug store, but then the drug store’s closed, and then they banter with the woman behind the door at the drug store, and then they decide to stay in a hotel room—
Writer 3: Which Kip can buy with his darts money from two episodes ago!
Writer 2: Yeah, so then they break into the mini-bar and talk about their feelings—no funny stuff, it’s too soon for that—and then they go into the drug store the next morning—
Writer 1: And then buy the pregnancy test and start a human drama story?
Writer 3: Pfft, boring!
Writer 2: Of course not, they’re about to buy the test when BAM—armed robbery!
Writer 1: Wait, what?
Writer 3: It’s genius!
Writer 2: The robbers are all up in their face, but then they see Marina’s buying a pregnancy test, so they offer some hilarious banter about how Kip’s a nice guy for taking her to get a pregnancy test when it’s someone else’s kid and then they get out of the store and start walking back to Little Otter and get into a big fight about Marina sleeping with Greg and then Kip proposes!
Writer 1: Marriage?!
Writer 3: How romantic!
Writer 2: He proposes, she expresses her adoration of him without accepting the proposal, she takes the test in the woods, and then the test is negative and they arrive back at Little Otter and hilariously remember they left Greg’s car stranded on the side of the road and then kiss and enjoy the harvest moon and laugh off the marriage proposal. The end!
Writer 3: I’d watch that!
Writer 1: …